One day, when the
Buddha entered a village with his assistant Ananda, he approached a poor woman
to share his teachings with her. However, the woman disliked the Buddha so
much, that despite his magnificent and pleasing appearance, she could not even
stand the sight of him. Wherever the Buddha went, she would turn away. When he
went to her right, she would look left. When he went to her left, she would
look right… Even when the Buddha used his supernormal power to levitate above
to catch her attention, she looked down and refused to look up. However, when
she saw Ananda, her attitude became the reversed. She was naturally drawn to
him, and happily listened to the Buddha’s teachings related by him, which she
found to be beneficial. This is very interesting as though Ananda almost
resembled the Buddha in form, he was still not his equal, and especially not
the same in compassion, wisdom and skilful means. How is this outcome
possible then?
In a distant previous
life, the woman once lost her child and was consumed by much grief. A spiritual
practitioner passed by and enquired after her. After hearing about her
misfortune, he replied somewhat ‘indifferently’, that there was no need to
grieve as death is natural. As he seemed detached, his words felt cold and
hurting, which gave rise to her aversion. When another practitioner came by and
enquired similarly, he kindly offered his condolences, before sharing about the
truth of death. The first practitioner was the Buddha-to-be and the latter
Ananda-to-be. Due to these karmic affinities formed, the woman developed a
‘natural’ disdain for ‘the Buddha’ and a ‘natural’ attraction to ‘Ananda’. As
such, positive and negative karmic affinities can be carried not only from one
moment to the next in this life, but also from one life to the next. This is a
crucial reason why we ought to be mindful of the impact of our fewest words and
slightest gestures, or even the lack of them, as they can affect present and
future relationships for better or worse.
Although the Buddha,
with his great wisdom, already knew the outcome of his approaches to the woman,
what he demonstrated was the importance of doing our best in connecting to
others, with as many skilful means as possible, before deciding the next
skilful means is to step back, to let the ‘next better player’ try. The
inexplicable ‘first’ impressions we have towards total or near strangers are
often due to affinities formed in past lives. As these perceptions are not
always rational, and often result from emotional bias, as in the case above, we
should learn to manage all relationships anew, to form updated and thus truer
perceptions of people as they are now. Feel-good vibes might not always turn
out good, just like feel-bad vibes might turn out unjustified. Unless proven
‘hopeless’ for the time being, all deserve second chances – including
ourselves. Remember, if you believe any affinity to be beyond hope, you are
fatalistic with disbelief in the dynamic nature of karma, whose power you
always hold!
Source : thedailyenlightenment.com
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